Carlos Delicto, On Assignment in Moscow
Former San Francisco 49ers NFL quarterback Colin Kaepernick has been invited to audition for the 20-21 season of the Bolshoi Ballet.
The audition will take place in late December 2019, in the Bolshoi Ballet Academy in Moscow, pictured above.
Academy Director Vladimir llyich Ulyanov explained why Kaepernick was invited to try-out for the world-famous, traveling, dance troupe.
Vladimir said, “We are very much impressed with Colin’s athleticism and studied his fluid movements on your American football field. He is very much taller than most our ballerinas, but his ability to throw and catch their much smaller frames in dynamic performances on stage, we expect to see very well.”
When asked if he was concerned with the controversy that surrounded Colin in America when he refused to stand for the National Anthem before football games, Vladimir said, “That will no be problem in Moscow. We Russians do not stand for U.S. National Anthem either. And in many dance routines, he will need to take a kneel so ballerina can sit on knee.”
As to what made the Director think that Kaepernick could dance, he said, “When we see him dance with the American President’s wife, Michelle, we know he can dance with Bolshoi. Maybe her, too,” he said, and laughed.
Check out our latest Satire Blogs for more laughs!