Guest Columnist, Sigmund Kraft-Ebing von Bismarck, Distinguished Professor Emeritus, London International Institute for the Study of Psychosexual Disorders
Former Vice President Joe Biden’s increasingly bizarre behaviors while on the campaign trail may be signs of an expanding psychosexual disorder, suggests a famed therapist in the world-famous institute that specializes in the field.
In a recent YouTube video, Biden is seen nibbling on his wife’s fingers when she gestures in his direction during a campaign event.
As you can see by expressions on the faces in the crowd behind the Bidens, some thought his behavior funny. But, according to Professor von Bismarck, “Nein, it vas nicht zo funny. It vas a…natrag…how you say, a plea for help from a man who is increasing showing signs of a serious disorder.”
Dr. von Bismarck continued, “He, ah, he schnüffelts…sniffs the hair of females of all ages, big and small, and has a gewohnheit, how you say, a proclivity to inappropriately touch frauen. It is, indeed, quite bizarre.”
The world renown psychotherapist speculated that the former Vice President is obviously under great stress as he struggles to keep up with the escalating pace on the campaign trail.
Dr. von Bismarck suggests that, as that pace accelerates, Biden will increasingly display manifestations of frotteurism (touching or rubbing against a non-consenting person).
Biden has long displayed a collateral indicator of the malady by his tendency to misuse language when delivering speeches, a relatively minor side effect of frotteurism. Dr. von Bismarck indicated that such behavior is likely to become more prevalent in the months ahead as Biden becomes more fatigued on the campaign trail, and his speech pattern grows more garbled.
One way to minimize the effect of frotteurism is for the patient to take every other day off from campaigning and spend time sleeping and watching cartoons from his childhood days.